Only if we part/Remember this.

The last night had been long.
Long enough for us to think about you mouthing 'I love you' but failing.

Typing and deleting.
*How do I 'feel' while 'feeling'?*
I wish Google could answer that.
On the nights that made us google words
Words.
Words to fall in love.
Words that could make mountains.
Words that made little love notes.
Words that helped me find YOU,my favourite metaphor.

Tell me we could have spilled coffee instead of mistakes that day
We could have kissed more like the powdered paints on my floor.
We could have.
We didn't.

I have written Little letters to you in my head
Sending it without letting you know.
Tell me,can you say 'Love'till you start hating the word?
The maps that your skin made.
The laughter that we shared.
The ashtray that I gave you.
Can you break them all till I could smell the brokenness within?
Tell me, could you just tear apart the newspaper that had notes for you and come back with jiggling laugh I love?
Tell me,if you could smell me in colours and leave me while kissing with smoke filled eyes?

Call it a disorder
Or the dysfunctional 'L'word.

I have seen Autumn and loved the word more
When it comes to 'Fall'.
Im trying to figure this poem out in the dark
Reading the empty holes in my mind.
Im trying to make the last verse taste like the pungent something pouring on my tongue.

The last verse
For you.
Call it me or us.
Maybe sometimes the silence in between
the over punctuated conversations
It was us
Trying to figure out the word with four letters.
You 'feel' it or 'love' till you 'hate'.