Denial

I painted my window pane with blue and red few days back,
For no particular reason when I smoke my daily bit of Classic that I secretly steal from my father's pack of cigarettes,I feel those colours talking to me
The dogs keeps on barking constantly around 3am and I'm left alone with my thoughts and rants.
The tattered houses and the street lights are more peaceful at night.
My ashtray is technically full and I have to hide it from Ma everytime she comes to clean my room.I have been doodling way too much about myself and keep on forgetting about the people concerned. Is it just me or the circumstances that I feel so aloof?
Staring at the wall constantly for hours imagining about starts colliding,cream dough,dolls that I lost, traffic lights drifting and an imaginary someone pretty much sums up my life.

I hate to say that I miss you because I don't or maybe I do because you out of all people used to listen to my rants carefully.
Those wistful eyes,weird laughs and tiny idiotic jokes used to fill up the gap easily.
My puzzle piece that used to fit.
And now with each dawn changing the day I rant alone and preferably write it down..hoping some day it might reach you in some way.